Tuesday, July 24, 2007

The Biggest Bitch I Know: New Jersey traffic

Why? Because it took over two hours to get home yesterday, when I live only 35 miles away. First I took the NJ Turnpike, which was moving slower than a snail making its way over a field of glue. So then I illegally turned around before the toll booths and took 1&9, which was backed up like an intestine full of tea with a buttplug attached. I finally took Route 22 to the Garden State Parkway, which was clear as day. The Parkway is NEVER clear, but it was today. How unpredictable. Just like a bitch. Why? Because a bitch is unpredictable. One minute she's mad, another minute she's glad. One day the Parkway is a parking lot, another day its a race course. This is why New Jersey traffic is the Biggest Bitch I know.

2 comments:

Mac-X said...

I don't deal with NJ Traffic, thank freaking goodness, but if I did, I would probably become a zombie driver and I would be dressed up like one of the dancers from the Thriller video, minus the dance part. This is so I can remain sane. NJ Car insurance is a bitch too btw. It goes hand in hand, its like hey, "Want it up the ass? Then come to New Jersey!"
That should be put up on billboards at all the borders of NJ.

Anonymous said...

: ( I know! I go thru that EVERY morning and evening. I hate NJ traffic!